There are things that we can have, but can't keep
by ADayDream'sDream
Summary: Klaus was sitting facing away from him on the bed, smoke curling from the blunt in his hand."Klaus." Diego said sharply and the other man jumped, dropping the blunt. part 05 of 'And my brain is like an orchestra (playing on, insane)'
1. Chapter 1

Diego sighed as he dug through the fridge. He had missed dinner, forced to work overtime because a huge bust had come up at the end of his shift and it had been an all hands-on deck kind of thing. Diego hated drug busts, seeing the junkies sprawled out across the grass in handcuffs always made him think of Klaus and how things could have turned out for him. One of the junkies had started having seizures when they had cuffed him and everyone had scrambled to get an ambulance there for the guy. Diego hated drugs. He hoped that Klaus was asleep. Hoped that he could put the conversation that he knew he would have to have with his brother for another time when the reminders of what drugs could do wasn't quite so fresh in his head. Eudora had mentioned to him that Klaus had been exceptionally twitchy when they had gone to the craft store and that she had lost him for thirty minutes at the mall only to find him sitting in the food court with a dazed look on his face. She hadn't said it but he knew it was on both their minds.

Klaus was using again.

Diego had noticed it too. Klaus was sleeping better which should have been a good thing but the sudden stop of the night terrors and screaming in his sleep was too good to be true. He was taking something to stop the dreams. He was talking more too. Something that shouldn't have worried Diego, Klaus had been a chatterbox as a kid, but since the rape Klaus had been mostly non-verbal except in rare instances with Diego.

Diego grabbed the Tupperware container that held what looked like the stir-fry Klaus had been planning on making for dinner and shoved it in the microwave. While it was warming up, he headed over to Klaus' room and slowly opened the door. Klaus was sitting facing away from him on the bed, smoke curling from the blunt in his hand.

"Klaus." Diego said sharply and the other man jumped, dropping the blunt. He hurried to turn to face Diego, his movements uncoordinated telling Diego that he had more than just that blunt.

"Di-Diego." Klaus stuttered, his eyes wide with fright. Diego grit his teeth together.

"Why?" He asked and Klaus averted his gaze, looking over at the wall.

"I donno." He said and Diego knew he was lying. Why was he fucking lying?!

"Get out." Diego snarled. Klaus snapped back to look at him, his mouth opening to say something but Diego didn't give him the chance to argue. He surged forward, grabbing Klaus by the thin shirt he was wearing and hauled him to the door.

"I told you that you had to stay clean. Get out." Diego snarled again, yanking the door open and shoving Klaus out. He slammed the door shut and sagged against it. All the anger of his brother's betrayal rushed out of him leaving the bone aching grief and an empty sort of hollowness. The microwave beeped to tell him his food was ready but Diego ignored it and headed for his bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Klaus knew what he had been doing. He had hated hurting Diego like he had. Abusing his trust, doing drugs behind his back. It had to be done though. If he had just left Diego and Eudora would have gotten the entire police force to look for him. If Diego found out that Klaus was doing drugs again, he wouldn't be so keen on getting Klaus back.

Klaus needed to disappear until he could figure out what those photos meant. What was going on and why it seemed to be circling around him. He wasn't a cop but he knew that those around him would no doubt be the first to be hurt.

Someone, Klaus didn't know who, had been taking pictures of him, Diego, and Eudora. Someone had been watching them. They had left a thick stack of them in an envelope on the front mat. Klaus' name had been on it and there had been a brief description of what was going on in photo written on the back. Klaus knew it probably had something to do with the man who had kidnapped him. Who had tied him up and fucked him raw and bloody. Klaus had been trying really hard to remember the man's face, his voice. Anything about him. Something that would help the police catch him.

"_Scream for me my pet. I love hearing you scream while I fuck you. While you bleed so prettily"_ Flashes of the man's words and the memory of pain forced Klaus to push his back against the brick wall and focus on things he could feel. The cool brick on his back, sturdy and unyielding no matter how much he strained against it. The dirt under his bare feet, rough and grating against the soft skin of the bottoms of his feet. The thin tee-shirt he was wearing, soft against his skin. The jeans he'd gotten from the homeless shelter this morning, scratchy yet soothing. He dug his fingers into his hair and took a deep shuddering breath. He would be okay, he told himself. It was okay. He was better off on his own anyways. Opening his eyes, he pulled the socks and black work boots he had gotten with the jeans on and headed out of the alley he had spent the night in heading towards the nearest soup kitchen. The line was long by the time he got there and one of the workers gave him a weak smile

"Sorry hun, we don't have enough for you." She said when he tried to get into line. Klaus nodded and shuffled down the street. He itched. Itched for that blunt from last night or the pills he had bought and stashed around his room at Diego's but never taken. He itched for a knife or razor. The sound of a child's laugh caught his attention. He looked up to see a pair of kids walking down the street. A little girl that he thought was maybe seven or eight and a boy who looked to be in his early teens. The sight of the siblings made him ache so he bowed his head and shuffled on by. He walked until he couldn't walk anymore and slowly sunk down onto the concrete by the wall. He sat there watching people walk by, some tossing him change which he snatched up quickly. When the sun started to set, he stood again. He could see a telephone booth, sitting beside a parking lot and a bowling alley. He shuffled into the box and thumbed a quarter into the slot before punching the number for the cell phone Diego had given him. He had hidden it in his room, tucked away in a jacket pocket in his closet. He knew it wouldn't get answered, he wasn't calling it to talk to anyone. He was calling for the voicemail message.

"This is Diego but you've reached Klaus' phone. He's a little shit and won't make a message so I'm doing it for him. If you're Allison or Luther just hang up. Anyone else leave a number and a short message and we'll call you back as soon as we can." Diego's voice was light and Klaus felt guilt bubble up in his throat

"Sorry Diego." Klaus murmured before hanging up. He counted the change he had left. Little less than five dollars in quarters, dimes, nickels and a few pennies. He tucked them away in his pocket and shuffled out of the telephone box. Looking up and down the sidewalk he shrugged and chose a random direction.


End file.
